Words and Manners!

Great motivation to start up your day!

Hello successful individual!

There is no balanced diet without a good motivation to start your day. Have this motivational coffee just before you step out today.

Let us discuss something big. This topic affects most 21st century youths and YnM strives to inculcate the right attitudes in today’s youths.

Words and Manners!

The first inspiration I got before setting out to write this post is an argument I got into recently with a friend and I almost got angry at what he said to me until I remembered that he has an issue with “gestures”.  

The second inspiration is a quick remembrance of what my dad would always tell my siblings and I: “Agbekale Oro”, which I have titled as Words and Manners.

Have you ever been in a situation where someone tells you something and you get angry at what they said, but someone else tells you that same thing and you wave it off and get the message? What is the difference? The manner in which both parties said it.

The Bible says "It's true that moral guidance and counsel need to be given, but the way you say it and to whom you say it is as important as what you say" (I Timothy 1:8, MSG)

There is a reason why some people get our words wrong, when we mean otherwise; a reason why most relationships don’t work, the reason why parents misunderstand their children and take “necessary” actions to “discipline” them, the reason why most people get punished for things they did that they didn’t mean to do.

The reason is the knowledge and implementation of the difference between words and manners. You know, it’s not enough to just know. You have to do what you know. If you can know and implement this difference, you will succeed in keeping your relationships and avoid unnecessary heartbreaks you get when people misunderstand your motives.

Sometimes when we intend to say certain things to people, even when we have the right motive, we end up getting on the wrong side.

Someone can say to you: This new hair color does not really match your skin color”, and you may feel bad. Whereas, someone else can say the same thing and you will end up thanking the person for calling your attention to it.

The real intent of your words must match your gestures. You cannot tell someone “I love you” while giving them an irritated look. The real intent of your words will be misunderstood.

It is not just alright to say “God sees my heart. I didn’t mean it that way”. You have to act on making sure the right gestures accompany your words. It takes a conscious effort to do that. Some of us have hurt the feelings of others with the manner by which we let out our words.

Manner, in this context, does not apply to gestures alone. Even when speaking too. The manner of your words should not be hurtful or insulting. For example, instead of saying “Your hair stinks, don’t you have enough money to visit the saloon?”, you can say “you may need to wash your hair before you get another plait. Let’s visit the saloon together.”

So, you see, good manners should be used even when speaking.

Today, strive to right your wrongs. Speak calmly. Express yourself such that the real intent of your words are not misunderstood!

Have you ever been misunderstood because of wrong gestures? I was almost slapped by my mum one day when she complained that I was fond of spreading my arms out and squeezing my face when answering her questions. To her, I was being rude. But I hardly even noticed I was doing those things…

Share yours in the comment box below!

A great day awaits you!

Words Kill: Stop the Murder

Hello YnM lovers, 

Just before you have lunch, let’s talk.

Have you also heard that words kill? 

Everybody has probably heard that statement. Most of us have even used it in addressing issues, but I’ve come to understand one thing: The most popular statements are the most “neglected”, when it comes to acting on them. People tend to say one thing and do another. Think of ten popular statements in the world today, and find out that only two have about 50% percent of people acting on them.

For example, there is this popular statement that reads: Silence is the best answer for a fool. Oh! How I misused this statement as a little girl. People use this statement when they want to make the “opponent” feel bad or even feel like a fool. But if you think deeply, this statement is not for you to “say”, but to “do”. The only time you can say it, is when you are advising someone else, not when you are in that situation. 

You get into an argument with someone, the person starts nagging and ranting and you look them in the eye and say to them “silence is the best answer for a fool”. In other words, “I have nothing to say to you, so I will be silent”. Well, that is wrong. If you’re going to be silent, then do it already, why say it? Silence is an action! The fact that it is spelled out in words, only makes it readable. In this situation, the appropriate action to take is to “BE SILENT, smile and walk away” or, be silent and walk away. You don’t have to smile….😉

There are different ways through which words can kill a person. Of course you know I don’t mean actual death. A person can be killed emotionally too. Your words can kill in so many ways. From being “blunt” to being “rude” or “insultive”.

Let’s talk about being “blunt”.

Irrespective of what the dictionary may say, in the world system, being blunt is different from being straightforward. People utter statements like “I don’t hide what I feel, I am blunt”. Well, you may as well bluntly tell yourself the blunt truth about being “blunt”.

You know one thing about people who are "blunt"?
I feel they have no iota of selflessness in them. Because if they do, they would consider the person they are "being blunt at", before saying those words. If you know that what you are about to say will either hurt the person or make them feel low, wisdom demands that you "keep mute".

To be honest, there is nothing to be proud of, when you are blunt.

People like straightforward and honest people, not blunt people. Get it right.
The difference between both is that one demands wisdom and the other demands otherwise.
Stop being proud of being blunt!

You are hurting others.
And if you are okay with it, you are not selfless enough.
Words kill.
Stop the murder!

Just before you grab your forks, here’s what I want you to do this week, please. I want you to feel special. If you need a reason to, I’ll give you one: Feel special because there is NO ONE in the world like you. There’s just one “you” in the whole universe. Nobody else has your nose, your lips, your eyeballs and those pretty ears of yours. No matter how many “look-alikes” you have, there is just one “you”.
You are special. You have to feel it to really be it.

Don't forget to leave comments below if you want to contribute. 

Have a  great time devouring lunch!