SNITCHED: Episode Two (Double Wahala)

Who breaks up with their partner over an issue so minute?, a male voice called from the white-tiled balcony. At least let me explain now...

You're very stupid for asking for a chance to explain. Thunder fire you there! I'm giving you free food and shelter and you still have the guts to efficiently play your over-sabi role in the presence of my friends, Jenny roared angrily as she flung his shoes from the hallway, not noticing where they landed.

Jenny, those are my shoes in the pool.

You even have mouth to call my shoes, your shoes. Did you buy them with your money? Leave me alone, let me fling my money anywhere I want. Abi you thought I would let you go with them so that you can deceive all those desperate girls that are looking for ushpuppi up and down. You are mad!

Baby, take a deep breath, you're getting mad already.

Yekpa! It is your mother that is mad. After all she walks aimlessly on the streets like those...

Jennifer, I will not have you insult my mother. Don't make me do something I would not regret.

Idiot, we both know you can't beat me. In fact, give me all these clothes back. E be like sey you no know person wey you dey follow play, Jenny spat angrily,  launching herself on Idris and unbuttoning his shirt aggressively as he hits the marble floor, inches away from the pool.

Idris struggles to stop Jenny from stripping him completely naked as they both fight it out. Jenny, do you want to strip me of everything? You didn't let me wear my boxer or trouser before you threw me out. What am I supposed to wear?

Wear your natural skin. After all, I took care of you enough to give you natural skin glow, Jenny said as she rips off the final piece of the black Louis Vuitton polo Idris was wearing.

Idris quickly makes it to his feet and squats back on the balcony with his back leaning on the olive-green wall, as he spots the 16 year old daughter of their next-door neighbor coming towards them.

It's not something she has not seen before, biko get out of here already!

Jenny please, I beg you let me just... Idris dashes from the balcony as he notices the green bottle in Jenny's hand.

Splash!

She locks the door behind her and heads to her messed-up kitchen where their sweet romance started few hours ago. Reaching for a glass, she shrieks as she tiptoes away from the tiny bits of the flower vase Idris broke during their moment.

Ah! God! Designer vase. Hissing and murmuring, she pours herself an excess amount of champagne and heads back to her favoirite Seven-seater couch back in the parlour. Opening her Macbook pro, she says loudly as she hits the lighted buttons: "Celebrating the latest graduant of Jenny's guild of EXes".

All the single ladies... Jenny sings as she walks into her room for a little Karaoke dance. Plugging in her earphones, she moves rhythmically to her favourite hit by Beyoncé. Put your hands up.... Put a ring on it... la la la la la la la la.

...

Jesus!, Jenny jumps in terror as her window glass splinters across the room.

Aunty Jennifer, hurry. Come outside! Uju, her neighbor's daughter cried amidst other faint voices outside.

...


There is no proof yet abeg. I need a break, Ifeoma says as she wearily drops herself into the red suede swivel chair in her sitting room, throwing her keys "somewhere" that barely escaped the lit fireplace.

You say wetin? Throwing her phone in the pool is proof enough.

 You wey delete picture nko? 

 Haba now! 

 Yes now, the pictures Tobi received are Snapchat pictures. Abeg o. You both should not infect me. I'll be flying to Dubai with Dennis tomorrow. Contact me when you find the snitchy-bitch among you. Biko, come dey go.

Ah ah. It hasn't gotten to that now. You know I'm staying tonight, Moni said, faking tears.

So that you can take my picture in the bathroom and post it on Instagram abi.

Haba! Ify, these accusations are getting too much. Any other friend will not take this.

Nne, you just have to take it. Am I not helping you? A begger has no choice na, Ifeoma mockingly catwalks upstairs, looking back to ensure Moni had the expression she wanted.

Moni makes to speak but is interrupted by a vibration in her pocket. Jennifer?

Moni, I'm dead oh! Idris has killed me! He's unconscious!

What!, Moni tries to calm her friend down, but can't make out what she's saying. Stop crying first. We're on our way.... Okay, okay, we'll call you when we get there

I can't even find the keys! Moni did you take them, Ifeoma searches nervously as Moni tries to understand how she even heard the phone call in the first place.

...

Shouldn't you understand that this is an emergency situation? My friend open the f*****g gate. I said I'm not with any cash. Are you mad abi you want me to....

Jenny! Mrs Wellington screams as she tries to drag Jenny away from the security man. Please sir, we will settle you later, but just manage this. She hands over ruffled notes to him.

Ah. Thank you ma! God go  help me...

Idiot, open the gate already! Animal!

Jenny, be calm, just get into the car!

Madam, call me when you wan enter tomorrow morning oh, I go... The voice fades as Jennifer drives out of the estate.

...

Jenny! Ifeoma hurriedly rushes to the right end of the fifth floor hallway where her friend is curled up on the floor, wig off.

Oh my God, Jenny!, Moni drags herself behind Ifeoma as she pants from exhaustion.

I swear. I didn't see him. I didn't even know he was still outside. How could I have remembered that he was aquaphobic when he helped me bring my phone out of the pool. I'm not lying honestly. I even...

Both friends lift Jenny up on each side, as they make her sit on the waiting chair. He'll be fine.
Don't worry, he'll be fine.

I tried that mouth to mouth thing oh. But the alcohol smell almost gave me an asthmatic attack. I swear down... I even... Thank God Mrs. Wellington came by. She's with the doctor now. I don't have...

Shhhh... Don't worry

Those stupid guys claim they saw me beat him and they even threatened me with the police. I just hope he wakes up before they can get to the station oh. Idris has killed me. Jenny wails, not minding the slippery liquid flowing from her nose to her "designer shirt".

Girls!

All three girls look up to the voice calling from the other end of the hallway. It was a man they were familiar with, but who is the lady bleeding on the stretcher. Why is he running after her?

Annie! Moni screams as she notices the shoe her friend wore to their quadruple dinner, few hours ago.

Jesus! All three ladies run after the stretcher, but are prevented from entering the room with the nurses carrying their friend. Ah! Tobi has done it again! This is his signature all over her!

Jenny!

What now? Am I lying?

...


Did you miss Episode one? Well, it's not transient! Check previous post.

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SNITCHED: Episode One (Quadruple date)

Oya! Give them! See the heels lasan, Annie cheered as she spotted her friend moving exuberantly towards their table.

I swear! This is red buttom, this is bloody shoes..., Moni sang along.

Thanks, Jenny muttered as she sat on the chair Idris pulled out for her.

Who would have thought we would be able to bring all you busy dudes together like this, Jenny said,ignoring their compliments.

Whatever babes, those heels are mad, Annie reiterated as she bent over their table to take a closer look at Jenny's booty-slipping romper.

Bla bla bla, Hello, this babe kept us waiting. Una no go talk am now o. If she's not here now, you'll start making noise, Ifeoma said. Anyway, let's not forget that we have gentlemen in our midst. First of all, introduction.


...


I haven't filled in my location yet, so that's definitely not my pizza order. Besides, shouldn't every one be able to use a door bell? Jenny spat angrily as she obliviously moved towards the front door of her Lekki home, rearranging her scattered braids.

Jenny, your clothes!, Idris called from the parlour, as he tossed her his Shirt while clearing the remnants of their romantic moment from the couch, naked.

Hello, snitch!, Moni uttered, wearing a fashionable grin.

You girls drove all the way down here after our 4-hour dinner? Miss me that much? Come in.

How could you? Jenny? we all thought you had grown up. After all, you just celebrated silver  jubilee last month. Ifeoma spat, refusing to leave the door post?

I swear, no wonder she was smiling at her phone all the way. The guts, Jenny! You've always been a loose-mouth, but this is extreme. Something funny?, Moni asked as she noticed the glow on Jennifer's face.

Oh yes, it's been all fun throughout today. I mean, from our once-in-a-lifetime dinner, to my drive back home with Idris, not to talk of the last third round you bitches interrupted. What I find funnier is the bathroom slippers you both feel comfortable wearing all the way from...

Jeez, Jenny!, Moni shouted angrily, now moving towards Jennifer.

Babe chill abeg, the deed has been done.

What's all these drama for? What did I do now?

You say wetin? Who sent pictures of  Annie and Dan's kiss to Tobi?

Yekpa! Are you serious? I knew Tobi would find out sooner or later. How is she even...Wait, wait, wait wait, wait. You're trying to insinuate that I sent the pictures

You still have the guts to play innocent? See this babe oh., (by now you should know Ifeoma's tone)

Eh... Omo, no let me para for you oh. I swear you no go like am. Didn't we all take pictures of them. Besides we were only teasing. If Tobi got the pictures, then ask him how he got them. Why am I the prime suspect here?, Jenny said, wearing an unconcerned look that made Ifeoma rethink their actions.

Come to think of it... Yes we all took pictures, but one person used Snapchat camera all through, Ifeoma said, as she and Jenny fixed their gaze on Moni.

Ah ah. Is that one news? Everybody knows my normal camera is useless. I edit my pictures all the time. So now, I'm the one that sent pictures to Tobi, abi?

Now, that we know who the culprit is, I guess I can retire to my suspended moment. Thanks for coming all the way girls, Jenny said, now moving Moni's arm away from the hinge.

Hold on Jenny, do you remember when Ifeoma said all our dates were legal except Annie's?

I don't remember silly words.

Are you serious now? If you are really innocent, would you be looking for a way to implicate other people? I said that, knowing fully well that everybody on the table knew that Annie has a boyfriend, but decided to show up with her "side boo".

" Side boo"?, both ladies chorused in surprise.

Yes now, is she not cheating on Tobi? We all know. We just didn't expect to have aan amebo among us.

Now, who's the amebo o...? Jenny said amidst hysteric laughter.

That's between you both o. I just made an obvious comment.

Well, were you also making an obvious comment when you took a video of their kiss and said "Tobi must see this"?

Moni! Is this coming from you? I was only joking. I didn't send it to him.

I swear, I'm enjoying this. Karma is a flavoured bitch! Jenny said, sipping an apple-flavored drink she snatched from Moni.

You girls are unbelievable! You just...

Girls! , Idris cut in from the hallway as he moved to the doorpost, wearing an 8-inch long boxer.
I think we should all check our phones and compare pictures.

Babes, are you serious right now? If you want to help, try to solve matters like a man, instead of coming here to suggest privacy intrusion to us. Are you even a man? What if I sent the pictures? Na so you for just cast your babe oh!, Jenny said, absentmindedly pouring out the contents of her drink on the footmat.

Baby, I was just trying to...

Eavesdropping is what ladies do, not real men, Jenny spat

In fact, I agree! Let's check our phones and finish this already, Ifeoma said

Wait oh, you guys know I deleted those pictures when we were about to take pictures in the car, right?, Moni uttered indulgently.

Hnmm, na so. My own battery is flat oh!, Ifeoma said mockingly.

Well, here. You can check Jenny's phone, so than she can be clear and you both can...

Ah ah. You even brought my phone out with you? Is this one a boyfriend?

Baby, I just...

Jenny interrupted Idris as she snatched her phone from him and flung it into the pool behind the balcony railing. Oya now, every body's phone has issues now...

Jenny! All three chorused.

Who's the snitch?

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Who's the snitch?
Let's see how episode two plays out tomorrow on YnM.

SNITCHED: an intriguing story on love, friendship and betrayal

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"SNITCHED" is a short story on true friendship, love and betrayal. 

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