SNITCHED: Episode Two (Double Wahala)

Who breaks up with their partner over an issue so minute?, a male voice called from the white-tiled balcony. At least let me explain now...

You're very stupid for asking for a chance to explain. Thunder fire you there! I'm giving you free food and shelter and you still have the guts to efficiently play your over-sabi role in the presence of my friends, Jenny roared angrily as she flung his shoes from the hallway, not noticing where they landed.

Jenny, those are my shoes in the pool.

You even have mouth to call my shoes, your shoes. Did you buy them with your money? Leave me alone, let me fling my money anywhere I want. Abi you thought I would let you go with them so that you can deceive all those desperate girls that are looking for ushpuppi up and down. You are mad!

Baby, take a deep breath, you're getting mad already.

Yekpa! It is your mother that is mad. After all she walks aimlessly on the streets like those...

Jennifer, I will not have you insult my mother. Don't make me do something I would not regret.

Idiot, we both know you can't beat me. In fact, give me all these clothes back. E be like sey you no know person wey you dey follow play, Jenny spat angrily,  launching herself on Idris and unbuttoning his shirt aggressively as he hits the marble floor, inches away from the pool.

Idris struggles to stop Jenny from stripping him completely naked as they both fight it out. Jenny, do you want to strip me of everything? You didn't let me wear my boxer or trouser before you threw me out. What am I supposed to wear?

Wear your natural skin. After all, I took care of you enough to give you natural skin glow, Jenny said as she rips off the final piece of the black Louis Vuitton polo Idris was wearing.

Idris quickly makes it to his feet and squats back on the balcony with his back leaning on the olive-green wall, as he spots the 16 year old daughter of their next-door neighbor coming towards them.

It's not something she has not seen before, biko get out of here already!

Jenny please, I beg you let me just... Idris dashes from the balcony as he notices the green bottle in Jenny's hand.

Splash!

She locks the door behind her and heads to her messed-up kitchen where their sweet romance started few hours ago. Reaching for a glass, she shrieks as she tiptoes away from the tiny bits of the flower vase Idris broke during their moment.

Ah! God! Designer vase. Hissing and murmuring, she pours herself an excess amount of champagne and heads back to her favoirite Seven-seater couch back in the parlour. Opening her Macbook pro, she says loudly as she hits the lighted buttons: "Celebrating the latest graduant of Jenny's guild of EXes".

All the single ladies... Jenny sings as she walks into her room for a little Karaoke dance. Plugging in her earphones, she moves rhythmically to her favourite hit by Beyoncé. Put your hands up.... Put a ring on it... la la la la la la la la.

...

Jesus!, Jenny jumps in terror as her window glass splinters across the room.

Aunty Jennifer, hurry. Come outside! Uju, her neighbor's daughter cried amidst other faint voices outside.

...


There is no proof yet abeg. I need a break, Ifeoma says as she wearily drops herself into the red suede swivel chair in her sitting room, throwing her keys "somewhere" that barely escaped the lit fireplace.

You say wetin? Throwing her phone in the pool is proof enough.

 You wey delete picture nko? 

 Haba now! 

 Yes now, the pictures Tobi received are Snapchat pictures. Abeg o. You both should not infect me. I'll be flying to Dubai with Dennis tomorrow. Contact me when you find the snitchy-bitch among you. Biko, come dey go.

Ah ah. It hasn't gotten to that now. You know I'm staying tonight, Moni said, faking tears.

So that you can take my picture in the bathroom and post it on Instagram abi.

Haba! Ify, these accusations are getting too much. Any other friend will not take this.

Nne, you just have to take it. Am I not helping you? A begger has no choice na, Ifeoma mockingly catwalks upstairs, looking back to ensure Moni had the expression she wanted.

Moni makes to speak but is interrupted by a vibration in her pocket. Jennifer?

Moni, I'm dead oh! Idris has killed me! He's unconscious!

What!, Moni tries to calm her friend down, but can't make out what she's saying. Stop crying first. We're on our way.... Okay, okay, we'll call you when we get there

I can't even find the keys! Moni did you take them, Ifeoma searches nervously as Moni tries to understand how she even heard the phone call in the first place.

...

Shouldn't you understand that this is an emergency situation? My friend open the f*****g gate. I said I'm not with any cash. Are you mad abi you want me to....

Jenny! Mrs Wellington screams as she tries to drag Jenny away from the security man. Please sir, we will settle you later, but just manage this. She hands over ruffled notes to him.

Ah. Thank you ma! God go  help me...

Idiot, open the gate already! Animal!

Jenny, be calm, just get into the car!

Madam, call me when you wan enter tomorrow morning oh, I go... The voice fades as Jennifer drives out of the estate.

...

Jenny! Ifeoma hurriedly rushes to the right end of the fifth floor hallway where her friend is curled up on the floor, wig off.

Oh my God, Jenny!, Moni drags herself behind Ifeoma as she pants from exhaustion.

I swear. I didn't see him. I didn't even know he was still outside. How could I have remembered that he was aquaphobic when he helped me bring my phone out of the pool. I'm not lying honestly. I even...

Both friends lift Jenny up on each side, as they make her sit on the waiting chair. He'll be fine.
Don't worry, he'll be fine.

I tried that mouth to mouth thing oh. But the alcohol smell almost gave me an asthmatic attack. I swear down... I even... Thank God Mrs. Wellington came by. She's with the doctor now. I don't have...

Shhhh... Don't worry

Those stupid guys claim they saw me beat him and they even threatened me with the police. I just hope he wakes up before they can get to the station oh. Idris has killed me. Jenny wails, not minding the slippery liquid flowing from her nose to her "designer shirt".

Girls!

All three girls look up to the voice calling from the other end of the hallway. It was a man they were familiar with, but who is the lady bleeding on the stretcher. Why is he running after her?

Annie! Moni screams as she notices the shoe her friend wore to their quadruple dinner, few hours ago.

Jesus! All three ladies run after the stretcher, but are prevented from entering the room with the nurses carrying their friend. Ah! Tobi has done it again! This is his signature all over her!

Jenny!

What now? Am I lying?

...


Did you miss Episode one? Well, it's not transient! Check previous post.

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